


Feed

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Anorexia, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grantaire is a good boyfriend, Hallucinations, Hospitalization, Multi, enjolras and combeferre are siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-24 17:18:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17708417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “When he left this world, I made up one of my own. One where I could still see him. First in dreams, then when I was awake. And the more time I spent in that world, the more I could feel myself slipping away from this one.”





	1. Prologue

When he was five, he fell out of a tree. It was a tall oak that stood in their backyard, and him and his brother, Combeferre, would always climb up to the highest branch and just sit, watching the sun set over their small suburban neighborhood. Combeferre would toss his arm around his younger (by a mere few minutes) brother’s shoulders, and they would just sit in silence.

But that day was different. Little Enjolras had climbed all the way up to that branch, and he reach his little hand up to Combeferre, but instead of pulling him up, Combeferre pushed him down.

He woke up in the hospital. His brother lay beside him.

“I’m sorry....It was an accident, I promise.” Combeferre said, touching Enjolras’s face gently. “There was a nest, and there were these baby birds...they were dead. Their mama had left them. I didn’t want you to see because I didnt want to make you sad. I didn’t mean for you to fall...”

Enjolras cried. “Am I gonna die?” 

“No!” Combeferre hushed. “Because we’re going to die at the same time. I promise, I will never leave you. We will always be together. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Oh, how he wished he hadn’t been so naive. :: When he was eighteen years old, Combeferre died in a car accident.


	2. August

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: characters are not mine. the plot is inspired by troian bellisario’s film “feed”
> 
> also, important note, comeferre and enjolras’s last name is jondrette. combeferre and enjolras are their first names.

Enjolras doesn’t speak once the day of the funeral. He doesn’t feel anything, either. He simply sits on the leather couch in the living room, staring intently at the coffee table. 

It wasn’t even necessarily a funeral, more of a memorial. Mostly because his family couldn’t fathom the thought of seeing their son in a casket. Enjolras couldn’t stand the thought either.

He had to admit, he was somewhat amazed at how many people showed up. It gave him a small ounce of comfort to see all the people whose lives had been changed by Combeferre. It was reassuring to know the difference that his brother had made in his short eighteen years on earth.

:::

Grantaire arrived to the memorial tardily. It was nearly impossible to find parking, even though it was taking place inside Enjolras and Combeferre’s home. When he finally found an open spot to pull over, he had to walk roughly four blocks to actually get to the house. 

When he entered, his eyes were greeted with a mob of people in black suits and dresses. Bouquets of white roses tied with black ribbons adorned certain aspects of each room. Grantaire vaguely remembered Enjolras telling him that Combeferre loved white roses.

After wandering mindlessly for a few moments, his eyes settled on Eponine, Gavroche, and Marius. He walked over to them.

Eponine looked up when she saw him coming. She let go of Gavroche’s shoulders, and opened her arms for a hug. “Hey.”

Grantaire gladly accepted the embrace. When he pulled away, he shook Marius’s hand and patted Gavroche’s shoulder gently. He sighed, looking back to Eponine. “Where is he?”

Eponine looked over her shoulder in the direction of the living room. 

Grantaire followed her gaze. There was Enjolras. He wore a slightly rumpled suit, his cheeks tear-streaked. He looked broken, but still beautiful.

:::

"E."

Enjolras woke one night at the base of the tree in the backyard. He sat up, rubbing his eyes groggily and looking around to find who had called him.

"E."

Enjolras glanced up, and there was Combeferre. He sat dumbstruck, while his brother gathered him in his arms. "Ferre? Ferre?!"

Combeferre held him tightly. "I've missed you so much."

Enjolras sobbed into his shoulder. Combeferre held him in his lap, rocking him like a baby.

"E...Why'd you leave me?" Combeferre asked once Enjolras's cries had long gone silent.

"W-What?"

"You left me here, all alone. You promised me we would die together."

"Combeferre-"

"Just hold me." Combeferre said, resting his head in his lap. Enjolras carded his fingers through his hair.

"I love you, E."

Enjolras wanted to cry again. "I love you too, Combeferre..."

They fell asleep holding each other. Enjolras woke up alone again.

:::

Enjolras sighed, burying his face in his hands. He sat crosslegged on his bed, textbooks and papers splayed out all over the mattress. He lifted his head, and glanced at a picture of him and Combeferre that sat framed on his desk.

"You always made it look so easy. I hated you for that." Enjolras said, chuckling in spite of himself. He stood up, walking over, sitting on his desk and picking up the photo. "It never seemed like you cared. So I always figured that I'd have to pull enough weight for the both of us."

Enjolras took a shaky breath, tears springing to his eyes. 

"And now I realized it wasn't, we were both carrying the weight. Because now that you gone everything is so  _heavy._ Too heavy for me to carry alone." He let out a sob. "I can't be here alone. I can't be here without you."

"You're never without me." Enjolras jumped and spun around at the voice. Combeferre sat on his bed, looking at him with those caring eyes. Enjolras staggered back to the bed, tears streaming down his face, and sat with him. Combeferre's hand automatically cupped Enjolras's cheek, brushing his tears away. Then he turned to his textbook.

"Whatcha workin' on?" He asked, picking the book up. "Bio?"

Enjolras nodded wordlessly, still stunned into silence.

"Alright, Bio-Charades! C'mon, you know the drill!" He exclaimed, grabbing Enjolras by the hand and sitting him down on the small ledge by his window. He then whirled around in a circle, making funny high pitched noises.

Enjolras let out a giggle. "I don't know what you're doing."

"Are you kidding? Its RNA transcription, duh!" Combeferre chuckled. "C'mon, lets do a few more. Then when we're done, we'll go downstairs and eat  _cookie dough_!" He moved to tickle Enjolras, and Enjolras jumped back, squealing with laughter. Combeferre chuckled again, closing the textbook. "Except, I'm going to eat some now, because I'm starving."

And when he left the room. Enjolras smiled for the first time in what felt like a millennial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment feedback it would really make my day :)


	3. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjolras struggles with opening up to Grantaire. Enjolras has been giving Combeferre all of his meals. Grantaire hosts a Halloween party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve decided to skip september and maybe write a oneshot as a companion to this. it would’ve just been too short and eventless. also, charlie from graceland is mike’s mother, and javert is his father.
> 
> UPDATE: for those of you who might be confused as to what exactly is going on, i have provided the link for the trailer of the movie upon which this fic is partially based off of below.
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-ml6edaQzI
> 
>  
> 
> i hope this helps :)

     The Jondrette’s gathered at the table for dinner on Halloween night. Enjolras started at the empty seat before him, before Combeferre tapped him on the shoulder and smiled. Enjolras returned the look. He twirled his fork in his fingers, moving the food on his plate around to make it look as if he had eaten it. His parents didn’t pay much attention to him to notice. He felt the vibration of his cellphone in his pocket. Pulling it out, he opened his messages.

 _Having a party for Halloween tonight._ Parents _are out of town. Maybe I’ll see you there? ;) xx, Grantaire_

      Enjolras smiled a bit, and he glanced at Combeferre. Combeferre nodded in approval. He turned to his father.

      “Daddy, Grantaire’s having a party for Halloween tonight. Can I go?”

       “Hell no.”

       “Javert, it might be good for him—“

       The doorbell rang, indicating the nights first round of trick-or-treaters. 

       “Shoot, I forgot to buy candy. Javert, where do you keep the candy in your desk?” His mother asked.

       “There is no way in heaven or on earth that I am letting my son go out to some party out late on a school night. That’s exactly how—“ The doorbell rang again, this time twice in a row. Javert’s fist pounded the table and Enjolras flinched. “Dammit, Charlie, will you go get the fucking candy out of the top drawer of my desk?!”

        His mother scurried off, and Javert must have noticed the frightened look on Enjolras’s face because he sighed, rubbing his temples with his thumb and forefinger. 

        “Fine. You can go. Just be back before midnight.” He said, and Enjolras smiled. 

       “I promise, thank you!” He breathed, clearing his plate. 

       He scraped the untouched food into a Ziploc bag, running out to the backyard to meet Combeferre. He grinned when he handed him the bag.

       Combeferre opened it and popped a tomato in his mouth. “Did he say yes?” 

       Enjolras nodded. Combeferre grinned. “Great. Now go change, you’re not wearing that there!”

Enjolras spent nearly an hour searching for a costume. He finally settled on the Greek god Apollo, by throwing together a white T-shirt, a gold sash from a costume he had a few years prior, and a gold headpiece he had gotten in a class field trip to Rome the previous summer. He topped it off with the white cape from Combeferre’s band uniform.  
“That’s more like it.” Combeferre said when Enjolras finally came out to meet him by the car. 

:::

Enjolras turned the engine off as he parked in front of Grantaire’s house. He hesitated to get out, looking at Combeferre nervously. Combeferre’s expression softened, and he reached out to cup Enjolras’s face.  
“Hey,” He said. “Go have fun.”  
Enjolras smiled and got out of the car.

When he entered the house, he was greeted by loud music and neon lights. Grantaire must have a lot of parties, he thought vaguely. He wandered around, pushing his way through drunk seniors in costumes.  
He didn’t see anyone he knew. Oh God, he wished Combeferre was here. He made it all so easy. Enjolras finally managed to sneak into one of the bathrooms, turning on the faucet and splashing his face and the back of his neck with water. He needed to calm down. When he finally was sure he wouldn’t have a panic attack on Grantaire’s bathroom floor, he exited.  
The moment he stepped out, he slammed right into Eponine.  
“Enjolras!” She said, a surprised grin on her face.  
“H-Hi, I’m sorry—“  
“No, it’s fine! How are you?”  
“I’m fine, I guess.”  
“That’s fine. Hey, you want a drink?” She asked, holding a cup towards him.  
Enjolras didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so he shrugged and nodded. “Sure, I guess.”  
“Great! Here.” She handed him the cup. He took a sip, and she smirked, leaning in closer to him. “I put something in it.”  
Enjolras’s eyes widened in fear. She laughed. “Lighten up, I’m joking.”  
He decided not to finish the drink, and walked away. Finally, he came across Grantaire. He was in a black suit, and wore skeleton facepaint.  
“Hey, you! You came!” Grantaire exclaimed, pulling him into a hug.  
“Hi.” He said in a small voice. 

Five and a half drinks later, they were on the dance floor. Grantaire’s arms were wrapped loosely around his waist from behind, their lips colliding sloppily. Some of the black facepaint on Grantaire’s nose smeared onto Enjolras’s, leaving black smudges on his cheeks and nose. It wasn’t until Grantaire’s hands snaked under his shirt and his lips moved to his neck that Enjolras realized what was going on. He pulled away from Grantaire quickly.  
“I have to go.” He breathed, before making a sudden beeline for the door. When he was about to open the front door, Grantaire’s voice startled him.  
“You know, one of these days we’re gonna spend more than just five minutes together.”  
Enjolras hadn’t realized he was crying until he moved to wipe his eyes.  
“I know.” He said, panting. “I know, and I’m sorry, I just really have to go.”

He left before anything else was said.

When he got to the car, Combeferre was waiting for him. Hyperventilating, Enjolras threw open the door, fumbled for the keys, and before he started the engine Combeferre grabbed his hand.  
“Hey, breathe. Breathe, it’s okay.” Combeferre said. Enjolras took a few deep breaths, calming himself down. “You know, you look really pretty like that.”  
Enjolras looked in the rear view mirror and saw the black smeared across his face. “Oh, God—“  
Combeferre grabbed his hand before he wiped it off. “No. I meant your costume.”  
Enjolras laughed through his tears.  
“You might wanna start driving now.”  
“What?”  
“It’s 11:50.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment what you thought.


End file.
